Who Am I Living For
by what nourishes me destroys me
Summary: Santana is down and she needs someone to help her, but her natural defensive instinct gets in the way.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:** _Trying a little fluff here :))_

_The song Santana thinks is Akon- Lonely :/_

_The song Santana sings is Katy Perry- Who Am I Living For_

_**Mentions of:**__ Fuinn, Bartie, Puckleberry 3 Klaine_

_

* * *

_

Santana walked swiftly with her books in hand, her ponytail swishing from side to side with a vengeance, her face glowing with anger and a familiar smirk on her face. She was fed up. Fed up of being alone. She had just bounced into Quinn and Finn holding hands, looking lovingly into each other eyes. She wanted to gag! Now all the Glee couples just tauntingly flaunted their relationships in front of her eyes. Brittany atop Artie's lap being wheeled to class, Puckerman at his locker, showering Rupaul with butterfly kisses. I still don't fucking understand why he chose her over this hot piece of ass. Even Kurt was getting some hot booty over at the GayLords Academy. I was sick and tired. I didn't understand what the universe wanted me to do, make out with Cadbury eggs like fucking Zizes ? It was so frustrating and actually made me feel like a pathetic loser, not that anyone even cares any more.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

I walked into the choir room by myself to see Tina and Mike were galloping across the choir room like two show horses. You can dance. We get the fucking point! I sat down and tuned out Schuster and thought to myself, I actually need to explain how I fel with an Akon song.

_Lonely, I'm Mrs. Lonely_

_I have nobody_

_To ca-all my own_

My thoughts were interrupted by Schuster calling me out to do a solo. It disturbed me a little bit, why didn't he call Man-Hands like he usually does. As I stepped down only one song came to mind.

As the futuristic music began I opened my mouth

_Ooh yea-aah ah-yea-eah_

_I can feel a phoenix inside of me_

_As I march alone to a different beat_

_Yea-aah Yea-aah_

_I am ready for the road less traveled_

_Suiting up for my crowning battle_

_This task is my own cross to bear_

_But I will get there_

_It's never easy to be chosen_

_Never easy to be called_

_Standing on the front line when the bombs start to fall_

_I can see the heavens but I still hear the flames_

_Calling out my na-ame_

_I can see the writing on the wall_

_I can't ignore this war_

_At the e-end of it all_

_Who am I living for ?_

_I can feel this life that's inside of me_

_Growing fast into a bolt of lightening_

_I know one spark would shock the world_

_Yea-aah Yea-aah_

That malisma was the last sound to escape my lips before my voice broke and I ran out of the room crying. My fellow glee members just sat there with mixed expressions imprinted on their faces.

* * *

I pushed open the bathroom door and gave a deadly look which made every loser hastily exit the room. I leaned over the sink staring at my reflection in the mirror, feeling the moisture of my tears on my face. I heard the door push open but I refused to look up. I continued to stare at my reflection and noticed a familiar blonde head out of focus behind me.

I turned around and was greeted instantaneously with a breath-taking hug. I squirmed out of his gasps not knowing whether to be appreciative or angry. His face fell at my actions.

"Are you okay?" he inquired with a concerned expression on his face.

"What does it look like?" I asked sarcastically, opening the faucet to wash my now puffy face.

Sam began to leave the bathroom when I pulled him back

"Sorry !", I exclaimed, " I can't help it, you know, being a bitch."

He smiled, taking a couple steps towards me "that's what I like about you, you're a no bullshit kind of person."

OMG someone that finally understood me. I started feeling warm and tingly inside.

I took a few steps towards Sam so we were directly facing each other. He stretched his arms out and I just found solace in his comforting touch.

I lay my head against his chest and found that I felt better.

* * *

That encounter was enough for me and Sam to become inseparable. Everywhere I was, Sam was right by my side, making me forget my pain and no longer feel self-pity. Everyone noticed and I loved being the centre of attention. It was a comfortable place for me. And then it just happened. I was walking in the hallways towards my locker, no Sam in sight until I was ambushed, slammed against the locker to be almost asphyxiated by a kiss. I opened my eyes; realizing it was Sam, I put both arms around his shoulder passing my hands through his golden coif as he darted his tongue into my mouth whilst massaging my tongue with his. His lips felt soft and tasted slightly sweet, kinda like how expect pink lips to taste, _Wanky._

I pushed him off after a couple minutes and began to catch my breath.

"What was that about?"

"What was what about?" He asked with a tiny smile

I rolled my eyes

"Attacking me and nearly sucking my face off?"

"Don't act like you did not like it!" Sam said smartly

I blushed but quickly regained composition.

"I'll admit it was rather nice, but why did you do?"

"Do you like me babyface?" I prodded?

He stepped towards me and gently pressed his lips against mines.

"What do you think?" he breathed, I felt his warm breath against my lips

I felt every nerve in my body tingle as he took my hands into his

"I want to be with you!" He whispered

I immediately let his hand go and narrowed my eyes

"Oh hells no, you think you could gets with this being all romantic and shit?"

I put my hand up signalling stop

"Negro Please!"

I stood against the locker and he leaned over me

"Listen, I'm not like Finn and Puck and those other assholes okay and I'm not dumb either, I can see through that tough girl shit."

I didn't know why Justin Bieber's long lost brother thought he could hit me these lines and I'd fall for it.

"So hear what," he continued, "I'm not going anywhere so when your ready to make a commitment you know where to find me!"

* * *

His fingers traced the outlines of my lips before walking away and couldn't help but check out his ass

_Dayyuumm!_

_

* * *

_

**Okay so this is the first chapter of my first multi-chapter fic ever!**

**I hope you like it. I tried to capture Santana in this one.**

**Soooooooooooo**

**you know what to do**

**R&R :)**


	2. Chapter 2

A/

**N: **_Thanks so much everyone for the reviews._

_[I felt special]_

_Okay I'm pretty much making this thing up as I go along_

_The song Sam and Artie sang was: _

_Ne-Yo- She Got Her Own (Miss Independent Remix) ft Jamie Foxx & Fabolous_

_

* * *

_

I wish Sam would stop following me around. He's like a borderline stalker. I'm admitting that I like the attention, but I'm not going down that road yet, the relationship road. I don't get why he doesn't understand it. Everyone I've ever dated has fucked me over. This is why I never get involved with someone unless it's just pure sex. I don't want to get hurt, but every time I see him my heart melts just a little.

"Hey Santana," Sam said standing beside my locker with a bouquet of lilies in his hand

_I love lilies__!_

"What Biebtard?" I rolled my eyes. Not this again.

"I have reservations for two at Breadstix. Come with?"

"I can't. I'm sick." I faked a cough. "I have homework. My grandmother was in an accident." I said. "Whichever one seems more likely to you. Run along now."

"And you really believe you're gonna get rid of me that easily?" he said raising one eyebrow.

I rolled my eyes again

"Why don't you run along behind Quinnie?"

"Oh yeah, she dumped your ass for Frankenteen!"

I observed the pained expression on his face and didn't feel the usual contentment.

What the hell is wrong with me? I usually enjoy torture but with Sam it was different, I had a heart when it came to him.

_Damn it!_

I couldn't even stop the words coming out of my mouth when I said,

"Yes, I will go to Breadstix with you."

Sam fist pumped the air and I laughed

"I'll pick you up at 7?" Sam inquired

"Not a chance sweet cheeks," I smiled sweetly

I took the flowers from his hand and began to walk away.

I turned and said "I drive myself!"

I blew him a kiss and left him smiling and bewildered.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

I sat in my car parked in the Breadstix parking lot and watched my reflection in the rear-view mirror. I re-applied my lip-gloss and tightened the white bow atop my head. I opened the car door and placed my perfectly manicured feet on the floor. I zipped up my black booties and stood up. I dusted the lint off my skinny grey Nine Planet jeans and straightened my grey and white striped cardigan. I shook the bangles on my wrist until they were in order and walked into the restaurant. I spotted Sam's big ass head and walked towards his table.

He stood up as I arrived. No one ever did that before. I smiled and sat down facing him.

The waitress with grey hair handed us menus. I was beginning to wonder if anyone else worked here because it was the umpteenth time she serviced me at this place.

I peeked over at Sam from my menu and watched his concentration face

_It was so fricken cute_

"Ahem," He cleared his throat

_Fuck_

He caught me staring -_-

Flustered, I just put my head back down into the menu.

"It's okay to watch you know," Sam smiled

"What the fuck, I know its okay to watch," I said shaking my head, trying to hide my embarrassment and not well apparently because Sam just started to laugh.

I pouted my lips and he pinched my cheeks.

"I'm hungry," I said trying to change the topic

He signalled the old woman who lived in a shoe to come and take our order. I ordered the mushroom ravioli while he had spaghetti and meatballs. Then the small talk began.

"How have you been?" he said with a tiny smile.

_Although his smiles could never be tiny with that dumpster he calls a mouth._

"Well since the last time you stalked me," I tapped my watch, "I've been just peachy"

He laughed.

Awkward silence was soon followed

"And then you're supposed to say, how have you been Sam?" He said

"My bad, how have you been Sam?" I imitated his exact tone.

He narrowed his eyes

"I'm not doing too good,"

"You see there is this this—

"I didn't ask you all that!" I said

"Don't matter you're gonna hear it anyway."

"Back to the story, you see there's this girl who I am crazy about but she just doesn't seem to get the picture, what should I do?"

"Have you told her anything?" I asked playing along with this charade

"Basically, but I still cant get through to her, you know?" His blue eyes peered into mine and I just melted a little inside.

As I opened my mouth to reply, the waitress returned with our meals.

We ate and discussed The Cheerios, Glee and the Football Team until we were stuffed and ready to leave. As the cheque came, I took out money to pay for my part of the bill. Sam looked at me like I was on crack.

"Close your mouth Bieberton, you're letting the flies in."

"It's a date Santana, I will pay."

"Don't worry sugar, I pay for myself."

I smiled sweetly but my eyes were cold and deadly, which let Sam know there would be contestation.

"Fine!" he grimaced and took my money to pay.

He stood up and escorted me out of Breadstix. He walked me to my car. I could see the cheque thing still had him kind of of upset so I took his hand into mines. I pulled him closer towards me and as I gripped his leather jacket, I pressed my caramel lips against his cotton candy lips and gave him a sweet, gentle kiss. I hugged him tightly and kissed him on his cheek before I hopped into my car and drove away.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

On the first day of school since me and Sam's date, he met me at my locker and we walked into the choir room together. He sat right next to me and we were happily chatting until Mr. Schuster came into the room and Sam stood up almost immediately.

"Mr. Schue, before you start I have a song I want to sing."

Schuster nodded and sat on the stool near the piano as Sam stood in front of our fellow Glee members.

"This song is dedicated to a person who is very special to me and she showed me her many different sides Saturday and I want to share one of those sides with you."

I smiled and blushed.

"Artie, Puck, can you help me out ?"

The music began and Sam looked in my direction, smiled and opened his elephantine mouth and began

_I love her cause she got her own_

_She don't need mine, she said leave mine alone_

_There ain't nothing that's more sexy_

_Than a girl that want but don't need me_

_Lovely face, nice thick thighs_

_Yeah she got drive that matches my drive_

_Sexy thing she's McFly _

_All the while paying her bills on time_

_She don't look at me like Cap'n Save 'Em_

_babadbabadbabda_

_Gold Diggin' no she don't do that_

_Now she look at me like inspiration_

_She wanna be compliment to my swag_

_And she got she work for it_

_Good life, made for it_

_She take pride in saying that she pay for_

_hey, hey_

_Only kinda girl I want, _

_Independent Queen working for her throne_

_I Love her cuz she got her own_

_She got her own_

_I love it when she says_

_It's cool I got it_

_I got it_

_I got it_

_Artie:_

_Don't make laugh boo_

_Never did that bad to_

_Make you even have to_

_Ask my better half to_

_You'd be more than glad to_

_I need someone who ride for me_

_Not someone who'd ride for free_

_She say boy I don't just ride_

_She'll pull up aside of me_

_I had to ask her what you doing in that caddy?_

_She said cuz you my baby, I'd be stunting like my daddy_

_And there's not many_

_Who catch my eye_

_We both wearing Gucci_

_She match my fly_

_and that's why I supposed to keep her closer_

_Right by my side_

_Toaster in the holster_

_You could call her Miss Boss_

_Got it backwards, criss cross._

The Glee Club cheered and Mr Schue patted Sam on his back. Sam walked towards me and took my hands to pull me up. He twirled me around, dipped me and delved his tongue into my mouth. He sent a shock through my whole entire body as he pulled me up from the dip. I slumped into my cheer, drunk with his intoxicating kiss. All of the members of the glee club had their eyes on me and Brittany jumped into my lap and kissed me on my cheek.

"I'm so happy for you!" she exclaimed

"I'm happy too" I smiled and hugged her

* * *

**R&R**

**Thanks everyone for being here with me still lol**

**I hoped you enjoyed this just as much as I enjoyed writing it**

**I would have made this the last one but my mind is buzzing with **_**Samtana**_** goodness so . . . . Look other for the other chapters :)**


End file.
